Sad?

Is it just me, or is this site PARTNERINGWITHPETLOVERS sort of like a book written in braille intended for the deaf?
(I took actually took the time to fill out the application. Here's mine.)

Name Marnee Lynn Murrah
Email address Let’s just see how this goes first…
City and state where you live Glendale, California
City and state where you work Glendale, California
Occupation Substitute Assistant Librarian Age 322 (46 in human years)
Level of education PHD in Children’s Lit.
Sexual orientation Some day, I hope!
What language(s) do you speak? Persian, Siamese, Angora, Tabby and Calico.
What is your first language? ESPP (Extra Sensory Pet Perception!)
Do you live in a house or an apartment? Mobile home on the railroad easement.
Do you live alone? No. If not, whom do you live with (parents, roommate, etc)? Ghost of Great Aunt Millie (She’s a stitch!)
How many pets do you have now? Oh, Gaaawd... that's sort of like trying to count grains of sand on the beach... I'll just say more than two...
What kind(s) of pets do you have, and what are their names? Many Kitti-zens live with me. They are: Mayor Nigel Nibblesbottom, Lady Lickmelove, Puurrrcival Pawpants, Sprayer McNaughtyboy, Scott, Cuddlekat I, Cuddlekat II, CuddlekatIII… um, maybe I should just attach a separate page…
What types of pets have you had in the past? My human family once had a foreign exchange student.
Have you ever been married or lived with a romantic partner? Is that supposed to be sarcastic?
Would you ever date someone who doesn't want pets? See above!
Would you ever live with or marry someone who doesn't want pets or who asked you to give up your pets? UHG!
Are you allergic to any types of animals? YES! If so, which ones? The ones on two legs that HUNT and watch Adam Sandler movies!!!
Are there certain animals you would not consider having as pets? If so, which ones? Dogs, flamingos.
Would you ever move to an apartment or house that didn't allow pets? I’d live in the sewer before I’d let that happen! (and actually, the sewer isn’t so bad – it kind of conceals the smell of the litter box.)
Do you have children? Don’t make me vomit! If so, how many? _______ If you don't have any children, do you want to have children someday? Yuck, pew, ack!
If you do have children, do you want to have more? ______
Would you ever consider relocating because of a job transfer or because of a relationship? I sort of like the idea of living in Redding. Don’t know why. I just always have.
Do you bring your pet(s) on trips? If not, what arrangements do you make for your pet(s) when you go away? I don’t travel, but perhaps I’ll take a trip or two some day when they start making bus seats for real people and not models! (and everyone would ride with me, in my lap, in my neighbors’ laps - wherever they damn well felt like riding!)
What is the most frivolous thing you ever bought for your pet? I once had a star named after each of my cat-panions… but, turns out it was just a scam… and oh, yeah, a lap dance.
Have you ever taken in strays off the street? I find the term “strays” HIGHLY insulting!!!
Have you ever rescued animals and brought them to a shelter? If by “shelter” you mean the under the eves of my loving bosom – then, yes!
Do you feed strays outside? Oh puh-lease! Dinner time is the one time we all get to sit down together... at the dining room table!
Do you insist on spaying or neutering your pets? Heavens no! I've implemented a comprehensive sexual education course that is far more humane.
Do you support the idea of de-clawing cats? How ‘bout we tear out your finger nails?!?! How would you like that?!?!?
Do you support the idea of keeping animals locked in cages – for example, keeping a dog caged at night or when company comes over? Company? Coming over? Don’t understand the question...
How much would you be willing to spend on your pet to save his/her life? What's the number greater than infinity? Take that number and multiply it by, like, a million and you're still nowhere near the amount!
How much medical intervention would you make available to your pet? For example, if your pet had cancer, would you tell the vet to administer chemotherapy and radiation, or would you have your pet put to sleep? I've actually donated a kidney once... not for transplant... they were just really hungry for fresh kidney...
Do you subscribe to any magazines or newsletters about animals? Does Readers Digest count? If so, which one(s)? I actually publish my own ‘Zine. It’s called Kool Katz and you can usually find it next to the rain sticks at the farmers market if Mothers Against Drunk Driving isn’t hogging all the curb space.
What's your pet peeve about the way some other people treat animals? Have you ever confronted someone about their abuse or neglect of an animal? Yes! If so, please briefly explain. There have been so, so many times… Who could count them all? The one that stands out most in my mind though, was the time I took LoverGirl and SpecialBlend to see “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." The little B*tch at the snack counter gave them such a dirty look… I could feel their little hearts breaking in their chests… Let me just say that it was probably a long time before that little slut took a dump that wasn’t the exact shape of my size twelve Birkenstock!
If you witness someone being cruel to an animal, would you:
A. Call the ASPCA or other animal rights organization?
B. Try to ignore it and avoid a confrontation?
C. Try to reason with that person and educate him/her about the proper treatment of a pet?
SEE ABOVE!!!
What do you consider to be the 3 most important qualities in a partner? (eg, sense of humor, kindness, generosity, etc) They have to “get” me. Is that too much to ask for Chrissake?!?!
What are 3 characteristics in a person that would make you not want to have a long-term relationship with him or her? Dishonesty, cruelty, leprosy.
What were some negative issues about relationships you've had in the past? I really resent it when people are reading my thoughts.
What are your favorite activities? Scrap-booking, lancing infected scratches.
What are your favorite foods? Tuna, Liver and Chicken
What are your favorite TV shows? California Gold, the Price is Right.
What kind of music do you like? Anything as long as it’s Brian Adams!
What are the 3 most recent movies you have seen? Georgia Rules, The Queen, Summer Rental
Do you like to read? Yes If so, do you prefer books, magazines, newspapers, or reading on the Internet? In the bathroom I prefer something absorbent, like newsprint. Anywhere else, I like magazines.
Do you drive? Not a car, but I do get around pretty well on my Rascal
Do you like to travel? If it’s not too humid.
Do you like your job? If by “like” you mean being over-whelmed by a sense of dread at the thought of continuing on one more second, then yes.
Which of these is your idea of an ideal date? (Circle one or more choices.)A. Dinner and a movie
B. Dinner and dancing
C. An outdoor activity such as going cycling or rafting
D. Bowling
E. Golfing
F. Going to a concert
G. Going to the beach or park for a picnic
H. Going to a bar or pub
I. Attending a cat or dog show
J. Other (please describe). Lying in the grass, making out shapes in the clouds, foot worship, spanking.